We All Believe We Are Right

I have been teaching through the book of 2nd Samuel on Sunday nights at FBC Okeechobee. I’m a big fan of the historical narratives in the Bible. I studied history in college, and still have a great love for it. I’m reading a book right now about European military history from 1400-1800. I know it sounds riveting, but I’m the weirdo that loved history even as a kid. I would go get history books from the library in the summer and read them for fun. My love for history has always drawn me to the historical narratives in the Bible. I know so many of the basic accounts backwards and forwards, but I find myself seeing something new every time I try and take a deep dive into this part of the Bible.

I am working through the story of Absalom and David right now, and I have once again found something I had never really considered. Absalom is the villan of the story, and this narrative can be found in 2nd Samuel chapters 13-19. It is well worth a read or a reread. As I have read and studied through this story again I have found myself having more sympathy for Absalom. His sister, Tamar, was raped and David, his father and the king, did nothing about it. 2nd Samuel 13:21 tells us that David got angry, and that was all he did. Absalom then plots for two years to kill his half brother, Amnon, who was the one that had raped his sister, Tamar. This is a wild story isn’t it? He successfully kills his brother, and Absalom then flees Israel. He goes to live with his maternal grandfather, Talmai, the king of Geshur. He eventually comes back to Israel, but he and David are never really reconciled. Absalom become more and more bitter over the entire ordeal, and decides to steal the kingdom from David.

I get why Absalom was bitter. I understand how he could justify in his mind killing his brother. I even get how he could justify a coup against David. I believe his actions were wrong, but I understand how he could talk himself into doing these things. He felt betrayed and let down by David, and to be honest he was let down by David. For the rape victim, Tamar, let down or betrayed aren’t good enough words for what she must have felt. I can’t adequately describe how she must have felt towards Amnon and David. Her life was destroyed and she lived a celibate life in the household of her brother Absalom after she was assaulted. It was a crushing life for her to have to live in that culture.

Absalom felt he was right in all his actions. Even the ones that obviously crossed the line. He would even go as far as to try to kill his father. Every step of the way Absalom convinced himself he was right. I think he truly believed that David was no longer capable or worthy of leading the people. He was totally deceived. This is where the application comes for us. Absalom did all this feeling spiritual and in God’s will. He saw David as a failure. People in Absalom’s place often deceive themselves with words like this: “Lord, You know we need new leadership. Thank you for raising me up for such a time as this. Guide me and bless me, O Lord, as I endeavor to do what is best.”

Divisive people almost never see themselves as divisive. They see themselves as crusaders for God’s righteous cause and often believe or hope God’s hand is upon them. Another question that has to be asked is if the crusade is really valid? I have found that within churches and families many things that cause conflict aren’t really worth having any conflict over. The question needs to be asked is this really an issue that should be addressed at all. We can cause conflict and division where none is necessary at all. I’m constantly blown away by the things that are argued over in a church. I read about a church that had a conflict over whether it was ok to use cran/grape juice instead of regular grape juice for the Lord’s Supper. Some church members left a church because one church member hid the vacuum cleaner from them. It resulted in a major fight and split. How about an argument over whether the fake, dusty plants should be removed from the platform. I personally know a church that split over the color of the carpet. Then the group that split away split again over something else that didn’t matter. Don’t allow yourself to be caught up in things that just don’t matter. Focus on things of eternal value. There are big issues that may need to be addressed, but make sure the hill you are trying to climb is actually worth the climb.

This happens in churches on an all too regular basis. People are convinced they are doing the right thing as they sew division in a local church. I’ve yet to see anyone that thinks they are hurting the church as they lead the way on whatever crusade they may be on, and to be honest they may have a point about whatever they are dealing with, but the way they go about dealing with the issue actually makes the situation worse. There was a real issue for Absalom. He wasn’t wrong about this. He should have taken the opportunity he had to talk with David to address how he felt, but instead he decided he would undermine the leadership of his father and steal the throne from him.

What happens many times is a bad situation is escalated by a person that wants to address it. The problem or issue then can spread and take on a life of its own. The next thing you know a much larger group than is necessary is affected by whatever is happening. Absalom needed to deal with how his father handled the rape of Tamar, but Absalom decided to bring the entire country into the equation. He wanted everyone to have the same opinion of David that he had. You shouldn’t be trying to use your voice to get people on your side. Speak only to those that can actually address the issue instead of to everyone that will listen. Absalom wanted to steal the people’s hearts as it tells us in 2nd Samuel 15, and he did it by making David seem like the bad guy or an incompetent king. He wanted people to be on his side. The truth is we shouldn’t view disagreements or difficult issues as me versus you. This type of thinking would lead to Absalom’s own death and the death of many Israelites, and it will lead to the death of relationships in your own life.

Just as Absalom should have done we to should include as few people as possible when dealing with a bad situation. We should always have an eye towards reconciliation, restoration, forgiveness, compromise where appropriate, and repentance where needed. When we are dealing with our family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, classmates, and church family we need to have all the grace we can, and desire to fix the problem not win the argument. Absalom wouldn’t address the issue. He had to win the argument. He allowed Satan to use him to divide a nation. Don’t allow Satan to use you to divide the people in your life and cause conflict. Allow yourself to be used by God to solve problems, handle difficult situations in a Godly fashion, and restore unity. Don’t try to win the fight, but try to bring peace.